hi,
So today hasn’t really been a good day.. EVEN though I had a bubble bath and talked to my kansas friends (Chris & Lizzy - hey punk ass american kids 
) and even though I talked to one of the IOW-KOTB (Isle Of Wight – Kids On The Block) Lewis (Mr. Kababa) - he is well awesome and totally freakin’ cool hehe.
I guess its just one of those days where every tiny insignificant thing reminds you of every broken, shameful, sad memory from the past you try desperately to forget and ignore.. These days that come and go are getting harder to get through. The family I live with, have no idea what I’m doing.. Or the fact I stayed up till 1-am so I could save myself from a couple of nightmares.. I’m beginning to fall away from the real world. & that scares me.. I just want to be me.. I just .. I just want to become someone else. Someone who is happy, but even then happiness is overrated, I just want to become someone who doesn’t have the past I have.
My own mother, looked me in the eye and blatantly lied to me.. IN FRONT of the family I live with.. She says she doesn’t mean to hurt me and she says I over react…. are you kidding me.. *sigh* I wish I could disappear, just for a week or two.. just be someone no-one knows.. no-one judges and no-one worries about.. just for a week or two.. Just be nothing to anyone..
Somedays, Like today.. I just wish I was gone.
Signing Off.
A.
